A "REAL" Pet Peeve

I have some little pet peeves that just irritate the poo outta me so I thought I would vent a little.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people asking "is that real?"

Here are some things I've heard asked and my natural sarcastic responses:

Are those your real nails?(I paid for them so yes they are mine)

Is that your real hair?(yes I've been asked this, I had no clue what to say and I said yes...nothing witty )

Are those your real breasts?(really?is it any of your business?)

Is that a real tan?( no your eyes are just full of dirt I'm really pale)

Is that your real natural hair color?(I'm a hairdresser, what do you think?)

Is that a real diamond?(I have no clue what your talking about... are you imagining things?)

Are those your real eyelashes?(seriously, you should see someone about those hallucinations, I have no eyelashes.)

Is that a real (enter designer name here)?(If you cant tell them im not tellin)

I mean seriously where does the line end? I don't mind a close friend asking but I've been asked these questions by complete strangers and slight acquaintances. Is anything really real? I mean no one asks questions like:

Are you really that size or are you hiding fat rolls inside your spanx?

Does your hair really grow into that style or do you get it cut like that?

Do your toenails naturally grow bright red or is that paint?

Do you really naturally smell like flowers or do you have wear deodorant and shower?

Are your eyelids really that lovely shade of blue?

The whole point in getting faux anything is to give the illusion that it is real and give the illusion of perfection.

The first definition of the word "real" is

existing or happening as or in fact; actual, true, etc.; not merely seeming, pretended, imagined, fictitious, nominal, or ostensible

So next time someone asks you if something is "real" you can refer back to that definition and say "YES" with confidence and not be lying. After all if it exists it is real !

Just a silly rambling