Idiotic Sayings

I kind of have a problem with dissecting what people say to the point where it doesn't even make sense to me anymore.But I hate when people say things because that is just what you say in that circumstance without thinking it through.I do it too, I know, but when I notice I'm doing it I obsess over it until I'm about to loose my mind!

Same difference....I hear this alot and I don't get it.When your trying to express that 2 things are alike...why would you say they have the same differences? Are they the same or are they different? I mean both lard and toxic waste are bad for your body so are they the same since they both are bad for you even though they are completely different? How do you compare difference? AHHH this one really gets me baffled I cant think about it too much or I get dizzy.

Unthaw...ya I know some people who say they are going to unthaw some meat for dinner...so are they going to eat frozen meat? My son has the same "literal" issues I do and when he was little I would say, "would you like me to make you a frozen pizza?" and every time he would reply, "no mommy I would like a cooked pizza" like I ever handed him a frozen Tony's and said go at it.

More than I can count....really? I mean for real? wow........ Skip using this one unless it is literall more than you can count like grains of sand, stars in the sky or blades of grass.If you are referring to something under a trillion or so, just say alot of times or you just look like you dropped out of school in 2nd grade.

You did not!....Yes I did, I just said I did, why are you arguing with me...

They...Who are they are why do you listen to them? They could be a group of morons for all I know.I don't care what they say.Give me names people!

You cant have your cake and eat it too....What the ? Who came up with this one? So you can only eat cake you don't have? How exactly does that work? Why would you have cake you cant eat? Another really baffling statement.

If its not one thing its another...GENIUS! No S**T!

It is always in the last place you look....Why would you keep looking for it after you find it? Of course it is the last place you look.

I could care less...This is generally said when a person means something doesn't mean anything to them. So by stating you could care less implies that you care at all, because if you didn't care, you couldn't care less. Try putting a different verb in place of care and see what happens. "I could smell less" So you must have an odor to be aware you need to have less of an odor. "I could run less" Well honestly I couldn't run less if I tried.

literally.... This is usually said to express the sincerity of something that is not literal. Example " I am so hungry I could literally eat a cow" Ill call you on that one! I want to see you eat the fear factor parts of the cow!



I could go on for hours on this, literally....

A "REAL" Pet Peeve

I have some little pet peeves that just irritate the poo outta me so I thought I would vent a little.

One of my biggest pet peeves is people asking "is that real?"

Here are some things I've heard asked and my natural sarcastic responses:

Are those your real nails?(I paid for them so yes they are mine)

Is that your real hair?(yes I've been asked this, I had no clue what to say and I said yes...nothing witty )

Are those your real breasts?(really?is it any of your business?)

Is that a real tan?( no your eyes are just full of dirt I'm really pale)

Is that your real natural hair color?(I'm a hairdresser, what do you think?)

Is that a real diamond?(I have no clue what your talking about... are you imagining things?)

Are those your real eyelashes?(seriously, you should see someone about those hallucinations, I have no eyelashes.)

Is that a real (enter designer name here)?(If you cant tell them im not tellin)

I mean seriously where does the line end? I don't mind a close friend asking but I've been asked these questions by complete strangers and slight acquaintances. Is anything really real? I mean no one asks questions like:

Are you really that size or are you hiding fat rolls inside your spanx?

Does your hair really grow into that style or do you get it cut like that?

Do your toenails naturally grow bright red or is that paint?

Do you really naturally smell like flowers or do you have wear deodorant and shower?

Are your eyelids really that lovely shade of blue?

The whole point in getting faux anything is to give the illusion that it is real and give the illusion of perfection.

The first definition of the word "real" is

existing or happening as or in fact; actual, true, etc.; not merely seeming, pretended, imagined, fictitious, nominal, or ostensible

So next time someone asks you if something is "real" you can refer back to that definition and say "YES" with confidence and not be lying. After all if it exists it is real !

Just a silly rambling